Misconceptions about Anxiety
These days, the word anxiety gets thrown around a lot online, in conversation, even in therapy sessions. But I’ve noticed that people often use anxiety and stress interchangeably, when in fact, they’re not the same thing. Understanding the difference isn’t just semantics—it can actually be empowering in how you approach challenges in your life.
What Stress Really Is
Stress is a normal, everyday part of being human. Think traffic making you late, preparing for a presentation, or having a tough conversation with a partner. Stress shows up as that “keyed up” feeling—your heart races, your body feels tense, your mind is extra alert.
Sometimes stress even looks like excitement: the butterflies before a big game, the nerves before a performance, the energy that pushes you to rise to the occasion.
The key thing about stress? It usually means you have the tools to handle the situation, even if it feels hard. Like a bridge being stress-tested, the goal isn’t to break—it’s to prove that it can carry the weight. Stress challenges us, and in many cases, it helps us grow. If you think about your experiences in life wherein you have grown as a person, were you comfortable or uncomfortable? I know for myself, anytime I’ve ever grown I was uncomfortable.
When Stress Becomes Anxiety
Anxiety, on the other hand, is when stress crosses a line. Instead of seeing a challenge you can face, anxiety convinces you that you can’t.
It shows up as relentless “what ifs”:
What if I forget my lines?
What if I embarrass myself?
What if I fail?
When these doubts pile up, your body and mind start to shut down. Rather than energizing you like stress does, anxiety impairs your ability to function. That’s why someone anxious about job interviews may stop applying altogether—not because they lack skills, but because anxiety has already decided the outcome will be failure.
Clinically, anxiety is more than just nerves; it’s distress or impairment significant enough to interfere with daily life and life goals.
Two Helpful Ways to Think About Anxiety
The Guard Dog Analogy:
Anxiety is like an over-sensitive guard dog. Instead of barking only at real threats, it barks at everything—a leaf, a neighbor, even nothing at all. A calmer, “seasoned” guard dog only reacts when it needs to.Future Predicting Capability Gone Awry:
Anxiety is your brain trying to predict the future—and getting it wrong. It assumes failure before you’ve even had the chance to try. You’re changing the present in reaction to a negative prediction about the future.
Why This Distinction Matters
If you label every stressful moment as anxiety, you unintentionally rob yourself of agency. Stress means: This is tough, but I can handle it. Anxiety says: This is impossible, I shouldn’t even try.
The empowering shift is learning to recognize triggers of anxiety and then answering the “what ifs” with reasonable, grounded responses. Over time, this transforms paralyzing anxiety into manageable stress. And with each challenge you take on, you build the evidence you need for confidence.
Final Thought
Stress is a part of growth; anxiety is what stops growth. By learning to tell the difference, you can reclaim control, reduce unnecessary suffering, and start building real resilience.