What to Expect from All Sessions
My approach in therapy is to provide a productive and secure space for each person to achieve their self-defined goals. This means first sessions work the same way for couples, families, and individuals, with a simple of question of “What is your goal for coming to therapy?” Feeling “stuck” or “at a loss of what to do” is a very common feeling going into therapy. I specifically focus on adventuring through difficult emotions, thoughts, and situations with my clients towards the goal of agency over your own life. With the use of research-based tools and techniques, my clients gain insight, awareness, and control over their life.
Couples
As a Marriage and Family Therapist, my specialty is working with couples through a wide range of issues. I have engaged with premarital counseling, trauma, sex related issues, LGBTQ+ issues, infidelity, addiction, polyamory, communication issues, parenting issues, and even who should clean dishes. My approach is to give the couple a safe, neutral space to discuss topics of concern that may be difficult to approach. I maintain a neutral therapeutic space for the couple so that both sides are heard equally and have control over the session. The goal of therapy sessions with couples is for each partner to gain insight about each other so that healthy, constructive communication and love can occur. Couples gain a plethora of tools and techniques to use outside of session to further cement the lessons learned in session because trust and intimacy is built over years and months, not days.
The type of couples therapy I provide is the evidence-based Couples therapy of the Gottman Institute. “The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to disarm conflicting verbal communication, increase intimacy, respect, and affection, remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy in conflicting situations, and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship.” To put it simply, the therapy I provide has been proven to have the ability to increase friendship and intimacy, solve how to have constructive conflict (because conflict will always exists between couples), and creates a path forward for the couple (i.e. A Shared Meaning or Vision for the Future). “You don’t blame the flower for not growing, you change the flower’s environment.” I help couples create their own nourishing and enriching environment.
Individuals
Although I practice through the lens of a relational therapist, I provide a unique approach to individual therapy because of my emphasis on systems. When working individually, I provide a calm, secure space for clients to achieve their goals for sessions. The therapy I offer for individuals is skills-based and tangible, meaning things you learn in session will be usable in your life and enable you to make the decisions YOU want to make. A few example of goals individuals have had in my session are: reduction of anxiety or depression, relationships, boundary setting, addiction, career counseling, and existential issues to name a few.
Anxiety
My approach towards anxiety is empathetic, holistic, and insight driven. Empathy is the main component of all of my work; however, with anxiety it is critically important. Oftentimes, shame or guilt accompanies the feeling of anxiety and we tell ourselves “I am useless” “I don’t think I deserve to be anxious” or simply not knowing why we feel the anxiety. I never want my clients to feel ashamed of their anxiety. A key feature of Anxiety is that it is trying to protect or serve you in your life, much like a guard dog who is far too sensitive. Anxiety could appear to prevent shame by approaching your boss for a promotion, guilt when you want to make a firm boundary with a loved one, or approaching your partner about intimacy issues. The goal of my sessions around anxiety symptoms is to aid my client's in discovering and empathizing with why their inner-guard dog is hyper-sensitive. However, there is always the possibility the anxiety symptoms can be significantly reduced by something as simple as drinking more water, exercising more, chasing your goals, or a visit to your primary care physician. That is why I believe in this holistic approach.
Depression
“Depression frequently makes you feel … absolutely nothing at all. Imagine you’re at a comedy show, but you’re the only one who finds nothing funny about it. Everyone else cracks up, laughing at jokes that evoke no response in you at all. You wish you could enjoy yourself as they are, but your heart and mind are void of all feeling. You throw back a few drinks, to try to ignite a spark of life within you, to no avail. You just want to go home so you can stop pretending you actually feel something other than numbness. Depression often makes you feel as though someone has reached in and ripped your soul out of your body. It’s not fun.”
This quote defines well the feeling that accompanies depression. When treating depression, I take the approach of an emotional Gandalf (if you will). I lead my clients through their dark passages and try to shine light in their dim rooms. Facilitating the creation of hope within yourself will be the goal of my session; however, I will still give respect to the gravitas of your suffering because depression is not a simple state to come out of. Empathy and pragmatic skills are the cornerstone of my work concerning depression. Much like anxiety, I continue to take a holistic approach and make sure your basic needs are being met so that we can rule out simple factors such as diet, hydration, biological imbalance, etc..
Grief
Mourning and grief is an experience that is incredibly unique to each person. Not one person experiences grief the same way because our individual relationships are unique and specific. Sometimes grief is not only the feeling of sadness, but sometimes guilt, anger, or resentment. The complications concerning grief are vast and oftentimes frightening. With my clients who are suffering through grief, I seek to aid them in discovering what their life after a significant loss will entail. I also believe that grief is not only reserved for the loss of life, but also the loss of opportunity, such as a job, relationship, children, or friendship. Discovering your path forward is a daunting task, but I try to aid you on that journey through empathy, insight driven techniques, and installation of hope.
